TCB, GSD, and Stopping Procrastinating Friendships
I like Elvis. Great, now I want a Chuy's Mexican Martini and some creamy jalapeno-ranch dip. Welp, that was a fun tangent.
What I really wanted to say was that I like Elvis. My favorite Elvis fact (a stupid piece of trivia they assure me I'll recall post surgery) is that he had a custom ring, necklace, and also the name of his band, T.C.B. I could be wrong, and I might have to sneak my iPhone under the table, but I think he also had the emblem painted on his private plane! The emblem was a lightening bold with TCB in the middle and stood for Taking Care of Business (in a flash). Red Twine moment, I learned the CT and KT also love Elvis!
I'd like to officially call this the week of TCB and GSD (sorry, mom, but that one means Getting $h!t Done). And that's what's been happening at our house this week.
One of the craziest parts of being diagnosed with brain cancer and having a looming surgery is that things got really clear for me. You've read it - my attitude has been to just jump out of bed and attack the days.
Pre-July 15, I was still excited about the days and weekends, but I let myself procrastinate on the projects - something else would come along, or it would just be deprioritized. A sense of urgency has hit me and it's not just limited to all things cancer, tumor, and surgery related. It applies to things like putting the baby gates back up, accelerating the "country chic" swimming pool project we've talked about for a few months but kept putting off because we had to figure out how to get the free stock tank from the deer lease and we didn't make timing a priority.
Well, on the Sunday after I was released from the hospital at St. David's post biopsy, Jeff and my dad borrowed the neighbor's trailer and hauled out to the ranch in Junction to pick up the tank. A three and a half hour drive each way. I think they had a good time and they came home with the goods. A stock tank pool is in my very near future and I could NOT be more excited. #PinterestProject #JeffHatesPinterest (Will post pictures later). Special shout out to my Father-in-Law for all his hard work on my project especially given that I wasn't there to assist in any way. Thanks, Casey!
While the men were away, Susie, the boys, and I did play - and do minor clean up projects around the house putting away visual clutter and just getting things organized. I worked on filing (searching for our wills to make sure they were notarized), printed out Medical POA documents, and Living Wills. We got things prepared. I mentally outlined some future blog posts, the "how to be a H.O." binder (that means document our bills, financial plans/goals, and logins to all the systems), and other organization ideas for the coming weeks. #PinterestProject #JeffHatesPinterest (Will post pictures later)
And then we had visitors - lots and lots of visitors! I've mentioned in a previous post about the comment war that drove me off of Facebook. It was actually more than that. I felt (and still feel) that at that time in my life, I was obsessed with refreshing Facebook to see what was happening with my "friends." But what we really get from Facebook is a fraction of a second of a life which makes us feel connected to our friends. But I would counter that with maybe, "informed." Facebook informs us about the things our friends want us to know about.
By giving up Facebook I wanted to stop procrastinating on my friendships - I was passively consuming their lives instead of participating. I missed my REAL friendships. I missed the bonds with friends who have helped make us the people we are today. The ones that got us to were we are today. I was going to reach out more and schedule dates - I was going to launch myself into those relationships again...but I didn't. Sure, I tried for awhile, but we let things slide when we think we have all the time.
I have a policy of always going to the important things you're invited to - even when it's a lot of effort. Things like birthday parties for the children of your friends, your nephew's incredible high school graduation (from being home-schooled) party in Dallas. These are the things that matter to me. Spending time with the people you love. Quality time. But it's not always easy, and you have to WORK at it.
So, when people wanted to come by on Sunday, even though my TCB/GSD attitude and mile long to-do list was looming, I knew I'd rather sit down and have a conversation with my guests. So, I let Elvis down and opened our doors and we had what I can only call a Sip and See of Cancer Me. Without the sips...
My first visitor was our friend Meagan who brought her GLORIOUS 32-week pregnant, in August, in Texas, in 116 degree heat, baby belly to see me. Meagan comes to our lives via her husband, Chad, a friend I made in college. Chad was roommates his freshman year with Thom, a guy I played pickup volleyball with at Texas A&M. Thom and I became great friends and would often hang out with Chad and Co. Jeff and I credit Chad and Thom for introducing us. Chad and Meagan are both from Crosby and went to high school with Jeff! By hanging around each other and infiltrating their circle of friends, I met the love of my life. Chad was also a groomsman at our wedding.
Had it not been for the Texas A&M Recreation Center there would be no Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey O'Brien (and family).
That's a lot of back story for me to say that Chad and Meagan moved to Midland and we haven't been able to see each other much since our glory days of weekly Sunday brunches at our favorite Irish Pub in Rice Village - Kenneally's.
So, very pregnant Meagan, is having a second baby boy and I got to hug that baby belly. I've been there - pregnant in the middle of August, brewing a 20 pound olympic gymnast and I can remember wishing it was over. But Meagan brought me her baby belly on her way out of town and I got to touch it and hug a dear friend and catch up. It was exactly the type of connection to an old friend I've been craving since I left Facebook on July 29, 2016.
Then Joshua, my brother, arrived with Patrick, my southern gentleman friend. Patrick crashed my sibling date in November to see Adele and we hit it off but haven't really seen each other in the months since. Patrick came to see me in the hospital, sent me Tiff's Treats, and just came to spend time with us on Sunday. I sat in my very tiny living room with my family surrounding me and my heart was happy. Just seeing the smiling faces and hearing familiar voices in person made me happy.
Our next group to arrive was louder. Malissa, Charlie, Owen, and my future daughter-in-law, Abigail (Malissa and I have talked about the arranged marriage between Connor and Abby since she started having contractions on my couch). Owen and Warren are BFFs so our families have become close over the course of the past two years - even having a joint 3rd birthday party last year. The support an friendship they've shown this past month has been incredible and is exactly the type of relationship I wanted when I took my Facebook sabbatical.
My next guest was a little younger and we didn't say much to each other, but it was the perfect visit. Brad is our realtor - he literally had a hand in establishing this life I so dearly love. His patience, guidance, and friend during our first-time, house hunting, and home buying experience in 2011 forged a lasting relationship that I call upon every so often. His name pops up in my email box every week via an automated alert on homes in our area and I smile each time I open it. No, we're not moving or selling our home - we had a momentary moment of crazy a few months back and called Brad to get us into a few homes we thought we might want to see. The alerts were never shut off. Also, you should always know what's going on around you. #LifeAdvice
But Brad wasn't my visitor. My visitor was his 2 month old son, Jake, who I had yet to meet. I must say that holding that baby was the most magical medicine ever. After we played pass the baby for several hours, we reluctantly gave him his baby back and everyone left.
So, I know it's been a little bit of a different post tonight, but as we pull into Houston for an evening at Jeff's sister's house, I'm happy to share tonight's words of wisdom. Stop procrastinating your friendships. Reach out to the person you've been thinking about and get together with them. Hug them. Tell them how much they mean to you. Stop procrastinating your relationships and celebrate your friends because they've helped make you, YOU.
Don't worry, we're still TCB and GSD this week - I just hope to see you all in recovery so I can share a memory, a hug, and a giggle.
GOODNIGHT, HOUSTON!
 |
| Post and it shall be. Dinner with KT and CT on Friday was at Chuy's! |
What I really wanted to say was that I like Elvis. My favorite Elvis fact (a stupid piece of trivia they assure me I'll recall post surgery) is that he had a custom ring, necklace, and also the name of his band, T.C.B. I could be wrong, and I might have to sneak my iPhone under the table, but I think he also had the emblem painted on his private plane! The emblem was a lightening bold with TCB in the middle and stood for Taking Care of Business (in a flash). Red Twine moment, I learned the CT and KT also love Elvis!
I'd like to officially call this the week of TCB and GSD (sorry, mom, but that one means Getting $h!t Done). And that's what's been happening at our house this week.
One of the craziest parts of being diagnosed with brain cancer and having a looming surgery is that things got really clear for me. You've read it - my attitude has been to just jump out of bed and attack the days.
Pre-July 15, I was still excited about the days and weekends, but I let myself procrastinate on the projects - something else would come along, or it would just be deprioritized. A sense of urgency has hit me and it's not just limited to all things cancer, tumor, and surgery related. It applies to things like putting the baby gates back up, accelerating the "country chic" swimming pool project we've talked about for a few months but kept putting off because we had to figure out how to get the free stock tank from the deer lease and we didn't make timing a priority.
 |
| a preview |
Well, on the Sunday after I was released from the hospital at St. David's post biopsy, Jeff and my dad borrowed the neighbor's trailer and hauled out to the ranch in Junction to pick up the tank. A three and a half hour drive each way. I think they had a good time and they came home with the goods. A stock tank pool is in my very near future and I could NOT be more excited. #PinterestProject #JeffHatesPinterest (Will post pictures later). Special shout out to my Father-in-Law for all his hard work on my project especially given that I wasn't there to assist in any way. Thanks, Casey!
While the men were away, Susie, the boys, and I did play - and do minor clean up projects around the house putting away visual clutter and just getting things organized. I worked on filing (searching for our wills to make sure they were notarized), printed out Medical POA documents, and Living Wills. We got things prepared. I mentally outlined some future blog posts, the "how to be a H.O." binder (that means document our bills, financial plans/goals, and logins to all the systems), and other organization ideas for the coming weeks. #PinterestProject #JeffHatesPinterest (Will post pictures later)
And then we had visitors - lots and lots of visitors! I've mentioned in a previous post about the comment war that drove me off of Facebook. It was actually more than that. I felt (and still feel) that at that time in my life, I was obsessed with refreshing Facebook to see what was happening with my "friends." But what we really get from Facebook is a fraction of a second of a life which makes us feel connected to our friends. But I would counter that with maybe, "informed." Facebook informs us about the things our friends want us to know about.
By giving up Facebook I wanted to stop procrastinating on my friendships - I was passively consuming their lives instead of participating. I missed my REAL friendships. I missed the bonds with friends who have helped make us the people we are today. The ones that got us to were we are today. I was going to reach out more and schedule dates - I was going to launch myself into those relationships again...but I didn't. Sure, I tried for awhile, but we let things slide when we think we have all the time.
I have a policy of always going to the important things you're invited to - even when it's a lot of effort. Things like birthday parties for the children of your friends, your nephew's incredible high school graduation (from being home-schooled) party in Dallas. These are the things that matter to me. Spending time with the people you love. Quality time. But it's not always easy, and you have to WORK at it.
So, when people wanted to come by on Sunday, even though my TCB/GSD attitude and mile long to-do list was looming, I knew I'd rather sit down and have a conversation with my guests. So, I let Elvis down and opened our doors and we had what I can only call a Sip and See of Cancer Me. Without the sips...
My first visitor was our friend Meagan who brought her GLORIOUS 32-week pregnant, in August, in Texas, in 116 degree heat, baby belly to see me. Meagan comes to our lives via her husband, Chad, a friend I made in college. Chad was roommates his freshman year with Thom, a guy I played pickup volleyball with at Texas A&M. Thom and I became great friends and would often hang out with Chad and Co. Jeff and I credit Chad and Thom for introducing us. Chad and Meagan are both from Crosby and went to high school with Jeff! By hanging around each other and infiltrating their circle of friends, I met the love of my life. Chad was also a groomsman at our wedding.
Had it not been for the Texas A&M Recreation Center there would be no Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey O'Brien (and family).
That's a lot of back story for me to say that Chad and Meagan moved to Midland and we haven't been able to see each other much since our glory days of weekly Sunday brunches at our favorite Irish Pub in Rice Village - Kenneally's.
So, very pregnant Meagan, is having a second baby boy and I got to hug that baby belly. I've been there - pregnant in the middle of August, brewing a 20 pound olympic gymnast and I can remember wishing it was over. But Meagan brought me her baby belly on her way out of town and I got to touch it and hug a dear friend and catch up. It was exactly the type of connection to an old friend I've been craving since I left Facebook on July 29, 2016.
Then Joshua, my brother, arrived with Patrick, my southern gentleman friend. Patrick crashed my sibling date in November to see Adele and we hit it off but haven't really seen each other in the months since. Patrick came to see me in the hospital, sent me Tiff's Treats, and just came to spend time with us on Sunday. I sat in my very tiny living room with my family surrounding me and my heart was happy. Just seeing the smiling faces and hearing familiar voices in person made me happy.
Our next group to arrive was louder. Malissa, Charlie, Owen, and my future daughter-in-law, Abigail (Malissa and I have talked about the arranged marriage between Connor and Abby since she started having contractions on my couch). Owen and Warren are BFFs so our families have become close over the course of the past two years - even having a joint 3rd birthday party last year. The support an friendship they've shown this past month has been incredible and is exactly the type of relationship I wanted when I took my Facebook sabbatical.
My next guest was a little younger and we didn't say much to each other, but it was the perfect visit. Brad is our realtor - he literally had a hand in establishing this life I so dearly love. His patience, guidance, and friend during our first-time, house hunting, and home buying experience in 2011 forged a lasting relationship that I call upon every so often. His name pops up in my email box every week via an automated alert on homes in our area and I smile each time I open it. No, we're not moving or selling our home - we had a momentary moment of crazy a few months back and called Brad to get us into a few homes we thought we might want to see. The alerts were never shut off. Also, you should always know what's going on around you. #LifeAdvice
But Brad wasn't my visitor. My visitor was his 2 month old son, Jake, who I had yet to meet. I must say that holding that baby was the most magical medicine ever. After we played pass the baby for several hours, we reluctantly gave him his baby back and everyone left.
So, I know it's been a little bit of a different post tonight, but as we pull into Houston for an evening at Jeff's sister's house, I'm happy to share tonight's words of wisdom. Stop procrastinating your friendships. Reach out to the person you've been thinking about and get together with them. Hug them. Tell them how much they mean to you. Stop procrastinating your relationships and celebrate your friends because they've helped make you, YOU.
Don't worry, we're still TCB and GSD this week - I just hope to see you all in recovery so I can share a memory, a hug, and a giggle.
GOODNIGHT, HOUSTON!
Comments
Post a Comment