How to Build a ToolBox (My Observations and Thoughts of My Super-Strength Powers)

Strong like bull...Me picking up my nephew Michael at his brother's high school graduation ceremony

Let me start this post by stating a simple fact. I am NOT a profession mental health professional. I am merely mentioning the things I believe have contributed to me being able to have the right foundation and tools/skills to get me through this cancer diagnosis, surgery, and recovery.  I am just sharing anecdotal information and encouraging you to also explore yourselves - it's never a bad thing to get to know who you are. Ever. Your mental health is important to me and to everyone in your life.

I am a certified Business Analyst, a project manager, a sales and process driven person. I have dedicated my career to a few things:

If I had to summarize what my job "title" is: Senior Producer, I am responsible for securing and planning new business opportunities for Slide UX, and establishing the processes and procedures that will get us from a proposal to the end of a project, with as few hiccups as possible. I anticipate problems and clear them so my team doesn't run into any impediments along the way. I support them, and ask for their assistance in defining the way that we want to do our jobs. I try to anticipate and solve problems and manage people. 

• In my career I rely on a handful of skills that I have honed and refined over time. Lots of these tactics are not my own original thought but those crafted from observation, analysis, need, and collaboration. 
• Open and honest, clear, and concise communication (two-way communication | interpersonal communication - you can read on it; there are many, many, many books to chose from)
• Understanding the power of a Brand; the people who interact with your customers ARE your brand. They need to understand the PlayBook for how, and why, we we're asking them to do their jobs. Equip them with the tools they need to do so and watch them flourish. Set clear guardrails and expectations and people will meet them! Set goals. Ask for what you need. The goal is to be the best dang team you can be. Partnership. I have talked to my doctors and nurses here in the hospital about this - My goal is to be the best partner and teammate I can be. I will be annoying at times with my requests for clear and concise and ETA driven action. I have discovered that I am an anxious person - from pre-surgery days - and talking about anxiety levels and triggers, open, honestly, and clearly has been very helpful for me.
• Anticipating needs - what would help the person I'm working with accomplish their goals and job as efficiently as possible? And then I try to do that thing.
• I think my strength comes from having a strong foundation - as a project manager - I often use the analogy of a house to communication my points. We have to have a blue-print of what we're building and then make good decisions about the house over time. What type of flooring do you prefer, tile, kitchen appliances, etc. What rooms does your house need to have so we can design the right house.
• I credit my family and parents with helping provide me with a strong foundation. They taught me right from wrong and installed a strong moral compass in me. It does take a village/tribe. They raised us Catholic and instilled a strong love of Christ inside their children. They taught us that we can be a blended family and thrive, I have three step-siblings whom I could not love more if we shared the same DNA and blood. They're the ones who have traveled the world by my side and lived the similar life (moving all around and being forced to make new friends) - we've experienced similar challenges and all come out the other side powerful and strong and loving each other. I have a step-mom who could not love me more than if she carried and birthed me. I am the child of her heart and have felt that love every one of my 35 years. She's my mom, Susie, is. But I do also have my mom, Davy, who loves me and gets lots of credit for supporting and encouraging my relationships with my siblings and Susie. Allowing me to have these types of relationships has only enabled me to be a stronger person and it takes a strong person to allow another woman to raise your daughter half-way around the world. 
• Let's talk about personal "toolboxes" and skills. A personal toolbox is a set of skills that you hone and obtain over time to be relied upon when necessary. My toolbox includes - and I am constantly trying to refine and add to it:
• a commitment to clear and open two-way communication | Interpersonal Communication
• Ask yourself "what do I want to learn more about..." and then go find books, articles, or stories about that thing get training, seek help. 
• Knowing your own strengths - know your strengths and catalogue them. You can use this list in other areas of your life - like finding the right career for you - what are your skills and what job opportunities do they align with? Mine happen to align nicely with being a project manager, sales person, and logical-process driven fields/opportunities.
• Know your weaknesses and be open to hearing about them. Try to tackle each one and turn it into a positive in some way or get rid of it systematically. LISTEN, be open to feedback - try not to get defensive when someone offers you advice on how to improve - Sure it's tough and painful to hear, but remember we aren't all perfect - we're works in progress. We have to WORK at it. Feedback is free advice and an opportunity to improve and get better - add to your toolboxes like you would when go to Sears for that perfect screwdriver. Find and use the right tool for the job.
• Have or find faith; I have been going back to mass and listening intently to the readings, homilies, and building a stronger relationship with God. That's important to me.
• Be a keen observer of life. For example, watch how others interact with the world around them > what do they do that you admire or do that drives you crazy? I like to pick up trash off the floor at Target and throw it away. I have two working arms and if nobody else picked it up, I can - so I do....often. 
• #PowerofOneMultiplied One of my favorite stories is Nobody, Anybody, and Somebody.
• Be Somebody. Write yourself love notes, any time you come across a quote or saying that resonates with or inspires you to be a better person, write it down (I use sticky notes and index cards). I found one in my filing box at home that said, "the days are long but the years are short" reminding myself that on the days the boys are wild and crazy and I just don't think I can take it another day - that I can!" I ran across it when searching for our wills. It was a little love note to myself and I truly appreciated finding it at the moment.
• Utilize the Power in your Pocket - I like to get things out of my head and onto paper or the Notes app on my iPhone. We literally have the world finger lengths away from us at all times. Use it! Learn it! Don't be afraid of it - iOS Notes app. This is a strong and powerful tool available for helping you get things out of your brain and into a usable format. 
• Live as though you could get hit by a bus at any point and get the important things out of your head. That's been a blessing of this experience - it's forced me to clear my head of the details of our lives and document them.
• Make a daily focus list
• Outline your conversations with goals and talking points about what you want to say and to whom so you don't forget when it's conversation time. 
• Actively and passionately seek information and skills - always build your toolboxes and learn new things - the world contains infinite possibility; get a hobby; learn a new trade or interest. 
• I want my toolbox to include:
• Better two-way & interpersonal communication skills
• Anger Management skills
• Anxiety Coping Skills
• Parenting Skills - it's not natural; it doesn't come easily; we have to WORK at it
• Learn to Google - keywords and target phrases that will help you find meaningful information in an information overloaded world (It's how I got my first Project Management job)
• Question what you read - doubt - try to dig to the motivations of what is being said and conveyed. WHY are they asking you this or telling you something? How much did it COST them to put that one scene in that movie - sometimes the least impactful scene in a movie was the most expensive; it's there for a reason - what is the reason? 
• Talk to other people, we all have our stories to tell, and people like to talk about their experiences and themselves - We are ego-centric! MINE knowledge and experiences; internalize them and see what you can learn from their mistakes. 
• Ask thoughtful questions: 
• #UseAllTHeCollagen - smile and laughter are great medicine
• Find a mentor or someone who's path through life you admire - My mentors are my amazing Dad and my boss Erin. Tell them what you admire about them!
• Read all the time - seek information
• Be empathetic and compassionate - this comes from the journey of life; putting yourself in someone else's shoes and seeing things from another's perspective. Consider how you would respond in another set of circumstances and see if you can understand why the other person reacted they way they did. Were they quick to anger? Short tempered? What was going on at the time that might have made them respond that way? How can I help lighten their load? Strive to understand other people's motivations. 
• I believe you have to have the pain in life to truly appreciate the beauty of life. It can't all be unicorns and rainbows. You have to fall to get up. Participation trophies are a joke. EARN your spot in life. 
• Appreciating the bad can bring you good. GREAT, joyful, and beautiful good.